December's Super Blog Post

Happy holidays, everyone!

This is an exciting time of year, isn't it? Or, maybe I should just trade out the word "exciting" for "stressful." Everyone has their fair share of busy work this season, cleaning house for guests, shopping for gifts, working extra hard at their retail jobs. Usually, by the time Christmas Eve rolls around, I'm standing between a group of fussing family members, having a Clark Griswold style freak-out and giving the "Hap-Hap-Happiest Christmas" speech, cursing included.

But, Christmas isn't entirely to blame. It's almost as if we're all running about in a mad rush to finish as much as humanly possibly before the arrival of the new year. As if we can somehow defeat Father Time through our will alone. (Note: this method only seems to work during the college years, when essays are due the next morning.) Writers, of course, are not immune to the crazy.

We wrack our brains, check our graphs twice, count our filed submission emails...just to see how much work we put in over the past year. How do the stats add up? Did we put in enough effort? Should we have spent more time at the keyboard and less time watching Big Bang Theory? Should we have spent more time at a Word doc and less time on Facebook? The answer to both questions is simple: "yeah, probably." Which only adds fuel to the New Years Resolution fire... But that's a topic for another blog.

Let's get back to 2011, shall we? I can honestly say...this wasn't the best year ever. Not for my personal or professional life. And I'm not alone, which is somehow even more heartbreaking.

Had some great experiences with small publishers, though, and I also came up with a few characters I hope are going to fully come out to play next year. The "started in 'll" line-up includes a paranormal series that doesn't take itself too seriously, a kid's book that has truly tried my patience, a handful of superheroes who are simply begging me for more adventures... It's been fun. Half of me wishes I had another month in this year to work on projects, the other half just wants to start fresh in January with a full to-do list and 12 months to complete it.

~*~

Since my last update, my story "A Mind Most Desirable" has been accepted into Pill Hill Press's steampunk anthology CONQUEST THROUGH DETERMINATION. This Submission Call is still wide open, so if you'd like to give it a shot as well, please check it out here. "A Mind Most Desirable" has been one of those favorites sitting lost in my "completed stories" file, awaiting a home. It started out a hefty 13,000 words and was slowly trimmed down each reading until it hit below the 10,000 mark. Obviously, it's steampunk, with a large cast, set in England during the Victorian Era, but it's also a bit of a murder mystery at heart--I'll gladly admit, that aspect was completely inspired by my mother's love of Agatha Christie.

"A Mind Most Desirable" was also my first serious attempt at writing steampunk. My second attempt (my first accepted) was called "A Gun for Jebediah" and is due out in the soon to be released STEAM WORKS by Hydra Publications. (And I do mean soon. I'll post when the listing becomes official.)

Also, over the past month, I took part in Pill Hill Press's Shootout. Think online creative writing workshop. Authors write short stories based on prompts, then the stories are sent out anonymously for other writers to critique (also anonymous). This Shootout, the host held a contest in the final round for those with the highest scores, and I ended up winning! (Using the "Bragging Rights" part of my prize here.) Now, I've got four stories ready to go (after some editing) find new homes. If you want to participate in the next Shootout, keep an eye out at the Pill Hill Forums.

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Lastly, let's talk shopping. It's December. Gifts are expensive. You probably don't have a very heavy wallet right now. Which means you're not going to put aside much money for yourself this month. So, let's talk cheap thrills, shall we. (Also, yes, self promotion.)

For those of you out of the loop, Kindle books don't require actual Kindles or e-readers of any sort. You can get the software free for your PC at Amazon.

With this in mind, there are a few ebooks that are listed at prices too good to resist. Oh, and I have stories in these.

PATENTED DNA
Kindle Price: .99
Published by Pill Hill Press, this is a collection of dark clone stories at a price that can't be beat. That's right, a whole anthology for less than a buck... Get it while you still can.





MONSTER MASH
Kindle Price: 3.99
Published by Pill Hill Press, this is a collection of horror tales where monsters of all types meet and duke it out. Come on, now, treat yourself. Your inner monster geek needs this book.






WICKED BAG OF HORROR TALES
Kindle Price: 3.99
Published by Wicked East Press, this is a collection of nine tasty, novelette-sized horror stories. For those who like a bit of meat on their bones.






Ok, let's say you don't have a couple bucks. Well, I happen to know that, through the month of December, Permuted Press is giving away free e-copies of five of their zombie books. I'm not in any of them, but I'm sure they're still great, even without me. Check them out at the bottom of their sales page, here. They also have several books for 2.99. (I plan on checking out Autobiography of a Werewolf Hunter, myself.)

~*~

Well, until next time, friends... Stay safe as you brave the malls, watch out for crazed shoppers with knifes and pepper spray, and have a bit of fun this holiday season.

Review: Idols & Cons by S.S. Michaels

I first noticed the cover to Idols & Cons while lurking around Omnium Gatherum's (the publisher's) blog. Come on, it's kind of hard to ignore, right? Also, I had no clue what the paintbrush was all about, so color me intrigued. (It now makes perfect sense, btw.) I was very happy to receive an ARC of the e-book. Officially, Idols & Cons is released on November 15th, but I believe the Kindle edition might have been released today, the 14th.

Idols & Cons
By S.S. Michaels
Published by Omnium Gatherum
Available on Amazon
Goodreads

Product Description (as listed on Amazon):

Jake Wolfram is the biggest, slickest, sickest pop star of our time. Drug-dealing voyeuristic punk, Jake, is yanked from poverty and into the white-hot spotlight after witnessing a crime committed by his neighbor, Damien Tungsten, front man for the boy band, In Dreams. Jake lives life on the run, hiding in the limelight, and resenting every single minute of it. He’s relentlessly pursued by his former friend, psychopathic visual artist, Patrick Salinger, who coerces Jake into helping him turn a grisly murder into a masterpiece. Seizing control of the power he craves, Jake disposes of Damien, confronts Patrick, and lives a bad-boy rock-and-roll lifestyle as he hijacks Damien's super-stardom. But Damien's not quite ready to let it go.

In her debut novel, Michaels uses biting wit and seething satire to bring the reader behind the scenes, to an explosive world where pop music grinds up against the cutting edge of art and drugs are the fuel that ignite it.

My Review:

To say that S.S. Michaels' Idols & Cons is about sex, drugs, and pop music is completely accurate, but this book is also about three very powerful motivators: desperation, fear, and ambition. Michaels creates a set of characters, led by Jake/John, and dangles stardom over their heads like chum on a string. In return, each has no choice but to play the part of the shark.

I'll skip the summary, as you can read the product description on your own, and cut straight into the meat. Idols & Cons is told through first person, in dated entries by different characters. The format is very easy to understand, and it makes for a quick reading. I gobbled it up over two days, and enjoyed the ride immensely. The characters aren't entirely sympathetic, or even likeable, but the pacing keeps you hooked.

When I first read the synopsis for the story, I instantly wanted to see where the writer took the idea. I contacted the author about an advanced copy and received one. I knew there would likely be an intriguing murder, a cover-up, and a few thrills awaiting me. I wasn't expecting the heavy dose of despicable horrors, but I was pleasantly surprised when it turned out the story was about more than one young man getting bribed into keeping quiet about a crime.

Human depravity outdoes itself when the prized "fifteen minutes of fame" is at stake, a fact S.S. Michaels thoroughly explores. Be warned (or intrigued): the pages are littered with adult language from not-so-adult mouths, extreme drug use, sick works of art, a boy band, and the corrupting of the not-so-innocent. I recommend it for anyone who wants a glimpse of teen idols at their worst.

The Big Book of Bizarro Release

"So, what kind of stories do you write?"

This is a question I get asked every time I see my relatives (which, granted, is only once or twice a year, so they have a perfectly legitimate reason for asking). I have a hard time answering because I honestly bounce all over the map when it comes to genre and intended audience. A sampling of my stranger, more adult friendly, work can be found in the newly (of the Brand Spankin' variety) released The Big Book of Bizarro, published by Burning Bulb Publishing and edited by Rich Bottles Jr. and Gary Lee Vincent. The Big Book of Bizarro is a whopping slice of crazy pie and can be purchased on Amazon . Instead of attempting to seduce you into a purchase, I'll let the official product description do the work for me:

“Salacious - Sacrilegious - Scatalogical - Scotomizing - Strange!” The Big Book of Bizarro brings together the peculiar prose of an international cast of the most grotesquely-gonzo, genre-grinding modern writers who ever put pen to paper (or mouse to pad), including: NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD horror writers John Russo & George Kosana HUSTLER MAGAZINE erotica contributors Eva Hore & Andrée Lachapelle, and Established Bizarro genre authors D. Harlan Wilson, William Pauley III, Laird Long, Richard Godwin and so many more! From Alien abductions to Zombie sex, The Big Book of Bizarro contains OVER FIFTY STORIES of the most outrélandish transgressive fiction that you’ll ever lay your capricious and curious hands upon! WARNING: This book may be one of the most controversial and dangerous books you’ll ever read.

See, now you have to pick up a copy. And, if you do, make sure you read my story, "She Who Cleans: A Dung Sticker's Shitty Tale."

After I dig into my copy, I'll be sure to return with a proper review of what else this hefty oddity has to offer.

Welcome 2009

Tis the season to watch House. We all know that Patricia and I have a television addiction. We don't actually watch live tv, but we get addicted to shows that we "must" own. Our newest must--and I say 'our' because, while I've adored House in the past, I wasn't addicted to him until Mom received seasons one and two for Christmas, and Patricia didn't watch much House at all until her mom received season four for Christmas--is...well if you haven't guessed you should just take a bullet right now. Seriously. I have no patience for dumb.

Anyhow, I just thought I'd begin my new year on that note.





I also read (and adored) Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox over the holiday. I liked the shippy draw between Holly and Artemis and the appearance of everyone's favorite demon. Overall, it was fun--check out the series, if you haven't in the past.






Resolutions? Not really: be healthy and productive. Have fun. Do something. Don't waste another year! Yeah, I waste years. I eat them for supper. They taste like chicken.

I also dislike people. Like people, neighbors, other than K and H--I really don't like them. I could do without most of them. And I really wish noobs could have their own floor. Anyhow, that's my House moment for the day. People hatin'. Sometimes I thinkI should live in a world with only, say, a dozen people allowed. Can we say "Eden".

Onward...I feel so lost without procrastination. Oh, wait, I am procrastinating: I should be writing right now... Well, I guess I can't get away for too long, can I?

Goodnight for now.