Welcome, lurkers. As you may know, I'm a writer of speculative fiction and poetry. While I publish short stories under the name A.D. Spencer, feel free to call me Ariyana. Here you'll be able to read about my upcoming projects, learn about new releases from my favorite small publishers, and maybe even read a few free stories of mine.

Enjoy yourself, and feel free to leave a comment if something sparks your interest.


Thursday, October 8, 2009

Thing I have to Keep Reminding Myself

In response to Trish's post: There are some things that I have to remind myself of every once in a while. Frankly, I feel old. Even though I'm only 22. I suppose when you have at least two decades under your belt, you start to feel time passing you by. And, with age, comes the absent-mindedness.

  1. Most of my movie/tv star crushes are becoming senior citizens in a few years. It's a harsh reality. Something I'd rather not think of. But it's true. They're going to be wrinkled and yelling for their nurses when I reach my sexual prime. Oh well--I always have DVDs of their golden years.
  2. My "baby" brother is seventeen. That's one year away from eighteen. That's insanity. He's a baby. He's always going to be my baby. And I'll always protect him. I hate to think of how I'm going to react when I have kids who become adults.
  3. I'm too old to Trick or Treat on Halloween. Sure, this should have hit me about a decade ago, but I've been stretching out the reality. Unless you're trick or treating with a huge group of people your age, just goofing off, 22 is just too old. At least, according to those old folks who look at you like you're there to rob them blind when you knock on their doors. I think the rules should change. I think we should trick or treat until we're at least 60--or until hip surgery is required. I miss free candy.
  4. Healthy eating is what's best for me, not just a way to lose some weight. This is a thought that doesn't seem to cross your mind when you're a teen. And I still have to tell myself that this is true. I can't have ice cream every night. Because the consequences are just around the aging corner.
  5. The things I still love and adore (and write fanfiction for) are old news according to the youngsters. Like Buffy and Stargate SG-1. Those are "old" shows. The way kids these days talk, you'd think I was referring to an Abbott and Costello movie. I don't care what the kiddies think. I'll continue watching my DVDs as if they were the hot new thing.
  6. I've graduated with a BS in English. I can't believe that. Already? It's done? That was a lot faster than high school. . . Or, at least, it felt like it with all the rushed deadlines and lack of crushes. Speaking of which. . .
  7. I have no love interest. More than just single--I mean NO love interest. What's up with that? Aren't adults allowed crushes? I'm pretty sure, or else there wouldn't be so many people around me getting married. And as hot as I think Tom Felton is, guys I'll never meet don't count. You'd think there would be some guy at the supermarket or a clerk at the gas station or an old classmate that I'd become fond of, but no. I'm crushless. I have to remind myself of this every once in a while because I was so used to smiling and dreaming of white picket fences with my crushes in middle and high school.
  8. I'm a writer. Yeah, between cleaning the house, washing the dog, and cooking dinner, I have to remind myself that I'm still a fiction writer, as well as a freelance writer. And I couldn't be happier with those choices. I just wish life gave me more time to work, and my brain was as energetic as my chihuahau during a thunderstorm.
  9. Most of my friends are getting married. Or at least in serious relationships where (shh, don't tell the dude) but marriage is most likely going to take place within a few years. It's a a big "wow" moment when I see all the new families being made. It's so very. . .mature. Not to say marriage is always mature (Brittany/KevinF. for example), but my friends are, and that's what is so special about them coming together with the people they love. And I also have to keep reminding myself that I'm a Maid of Honor who has to keep track of her duties!
  10. That the world is a big place. I have to keep that in mind. It's easy to forget and begin believing that the world is small, that what matters is your job or how many calories you've consumed or who gave you the finger at Walmart. There's so much more out there. I'm a dot. I can't be seen from space, much less the neighboring universe. So much is going on at every second of the day. Sometimes, I really do forget that. I forget about people being blow up and kids starving and countries electing new officials. And sometimes I think there are people who will never realize how big the world is. Most of these people are VH1 reality show stars, I believe. . .

Sunday, October 4, 2009

The Procrastination Tamer

Yes, as in, lion tamer. 'Cause, frankly, procrastination can be a six-hundred pound, clawed killing machine for writers.

Readers of my fanfictions probably assume that I'm dead, but I'm not. I just wish there was a way I could tell all of them that I've been concentrating on a different spectrum of the writing world over the past few weeks: freelance.

A few weeks ago, I got my first check for writing articles. It was downright tiny compared to the work that went into it. But, I've got to say, I was glowing on the inside. I really was. Finally, after all these years, I'd gotten paid for writing something. And, obviously, a small number of people out there were reading that something.

It occurred to me that the check was a symbol of the future. While I expect the checks in months to come to get larger, and I expect also to not only be working for Associated Content but other sites as well at that time, I can't help but see what that tiny check means.

I suppose it's the same for any writer who doesn't strike it lucky the first go-around. The check means that someone can get paid for their passion. I can get paid to do what I love so much. But, if I stick to this course, the monetary payment is always going to be smaller than the work that was put into it. No matter how successful I become as an author or freelance writer, I'm always going to have to put more effort in to it. Because it's what I love. And if you love something, that's what you do.

And it'll be worth the hard times. And the lack of nifty gadgets. The possible second job that bores me to tears.

It'll be worth it to be doing what I adore.

Love means sacrifice. But the rewards are always far greater than what was given away.

So, in order for me to pursue this love, I must make that sacrifice, and the lamb will have to be my other personality, the one who can procrastinate herself out of going to the bathroom for an hour.

This procrastinator plans to be very, very busy in the months to come, as she attempts to take hold of her old faults and use them. I will continue my fanfiction. I will always be writing on my original fiction (I write on it nearly every day, I simply do not always form enough of it to post on a site or to talk about). And I will take control of my freelancing and produce the articles I need to produce to get to the next level.